The hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life!
In case you hadn’t noticed I’m not really the rock climbing kind of girl. I’ve been so called prissy all of my life. I’m one of four girls. No brothers. That’s a lot of estrogen. My dad was an athlete but me and my sisters didn’t take after him. Nonetheless, I do like an adventure and a challenge. So when the Cancer Treatment Centers of America where I’m treated asked if I’d like to go on an all-expense paid trip to Estes Park, Colorado to rock climb as a part of an organization called First Descents, I contemplated it a little bit but decided to go for it.
Everyone on the trip was a cancer survivor meaning either actively being treated or cancer-free. Upon arrival at our lodge we all had to pick nicknames. I chose Stiletto since my memoir is titled Dig in Your Heels. We didn’t know at the time but choosing a nickname helped us to assume a new identity and leave our past of cancer and sickness behind.
Learning to Climb
…if you are the climber and want to start climbing you would say “Climbing” and the belayer would say “Climb on” to let you know that they’re ready to support you.
The first day climbing was, to my surprise, on actual rocks not inside a climbing gym. They were beginner level rocks but rocks nonetheless. I had had my powder dipped nails cut down prior to making the trip so that I wouldn’t risk injuring myself. Now was not the time to be cute…well not your hands anyway. 🙂 We were put in teams and rotated climbing locations so that we could get varied experiences. With rock climbing you usually have one person climbing and another person on belay (the device that creates friction on the rope to keep you from falling) and we had an additional person for added security and to help keep the rope from getting tangled. We learned there are all kinds of commands to help the process run smoothly. You need to communicate with the belayer when you want to start climbing, stop climbing or want to take a break mid-climb. You yell a command and they yell back so that you know they heard you. For instance, if you are the climber and want to start climbing you would say “Climbing” and the belayer would say “Climb on” to let you know that they’re ready to support you. They have to carry your weight on the rope so if you fall or take a break, you don’t come crashing down to the ground. As you learn all of the precautions that are taken it makes you feel more safe and less hesitant to climb high.
At the time of this trip my knees were giving me trouble, I had had reconstructive surgery (basically a tummy tuck) a few months prior and I was heavier than I had ever been. The first day I did pretty good but there was one area that I wasn’t able to finish. It was disappointing but if you didn’t succeed at every climb it usually made you more determined the next day. We climbed just about every day and the difficulty of the climbs increased. I had been doing pretty good but one day I met a rock that I’ll never forget. There was one area on that rock, about midway up, where I couldn’t get a good foothold. I saw other people climb the recommended path on the rock without much difficulty but they always found it hard in the spot that I couldn’t get past. They made it past though. I didn’t.
After a couple of tries, I gave up but being that I was with a group of cancer survivors my belayer and backup belayer would not let me accept defeat. So I got on the rock and started to climb for the third time. I got midway up and got stuck. I couldn’t get past that area or any other area. I just didn’t feel confident in my foot and hand placement. It’s hard to believe but I was on the rock for a few hours. I can’t even remember how many to be specific. All I know is that what usually takes people 20-30 minutes took me a few hours because my team wouldn’t let me come down until I finished and at one point I became determined too.
While belaying for other people and taking a break I saw other people conquer this rock over and over. So I had been eyeballing the rock and really felt like I had found my route to the top. I didn’t want to take the path that everyone else had taken. That path wasn’t for me. I saw what looked like an easier path slightly to the right. But our guides said we had to go straight up to align with where the rope was anchored. This was so that if you fell you wouldn’t swing like a pendulum and injure yourself. Well while I was up there I decided to go the way that was calling me. It was more dangerous because it was to the right of the anchor and more difficult as well I was told. But it was easier for me! It was the path for me. I finally made it to the top and I felt like I needed a stiff drink afterward. LOL The time I spent on the rock became legendary. People couldn’t believe my determination after all of those hours. I was given the climbing award for that day.
I loved the challenge and sense of accomplishment it gave me. It made me feel pretty bad ass.
Rock Climbing Imitating Life
It was amazing how rock climbing was so symbolic of our cancer journeys and life in general. Sometimes you will want to give up but you need people on your team that refuse to let you give in– people who will encourage you that you can do it. You need to know that people have got you. Additionally, sometimes the best path for other people is not the best path for you. Even if people think it is more difficult or dangerous, maybe it is still the best path for you because you know your strengths and weaknesses better than anyone else.
I thoroughly enjoyed rock climbing and the camaraderie that was built on that trip. I plan on doing it again because I loved the challenge and sense of accomplishment it gave me. It made me feel pretty bad ass. LOL Especially the final day when we climbed a mountain not boulders with set anchors. Our guides actually set the anchors themselves between cracks in the rocks. We went so high that we had to scale down the mountain and still hike down to get to the bottom. It was a serious adrenaline rush.
I tell people that rock climbing was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Yes, I felt like it was harder than battling cancer. Cancer, in my opinion takes a strong mind and spirit. I’ve worked those muscles but physical strength is where I’m challenged. To push my body to those limits took a lot out of me but I can’t wait to do it again. I know the more I do it and the fitter I become the easier it will get. I’m going to keep climbing (literally and figuratively) and I hope you are too. Climb on!
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